Impressions.

Mentors come in all shapes and forms. Sometimes they're your guiding force through it all. Sometimes they arrive for a season. Or a specific reason.

I've been lucky to have many mentors in my life.

People that have taken me under their wing.
Pulled me into their offices.
Gifted me books.
Coached me through difficult transitions.
Cheered me on from the sidelines.
Given me tough feedback.
Showed me what to do with it.

The thing about mentors is that often they're not even aware of the impression they're leaving on those around them. Because they're so elegant in the way that they lead. Their ability to inspire is 100% on brand and entirely authentic.

Take for example two moments from early on in my career that have stuck with me.

Two interactions with women who were many layers above me at the time. Two women who likely to this day have no idea how important they were {and are} in shaping the way I work, mentor, and lead.

They may not know.
But their words have stuck with me.
"Even after all these years".

Dr. Felicia Guity

One of the few female leaders in OEM at the time, and I believe Microsoft’s first EVER female GM {!!!}. A mom. A Michigan native. Even as a recent college grad with a developing “get it factor”, I could feel her fight. And now after nearly twenty years in tech, it's even clearer to me.

As the most Jr. team member, I was lucky enough to get time with Felicia every so often. I’d march down the hall from my office and sit with her. I remember a large window. Her welcoming demeanor. How she folded her hands. And her boss status attire. One day while wrestling with “WTF am I doing here?”, she reminded me of the happiness plateau. Which basically says that if your basic needs are met – money can no longer help you achieve happiness. It must be sought elsewhere.

There are nuances, of course. But to this day I still refer to this conversation when I feel that my wallet and my heart are pulling me in different directions. You’ll see this reflected the paths I’ve chosen as well as the 1,300 sq ft home that my family calls home. For a tech marketer, I live a life of incredible frugality because I know myself. And as such I always need the option of walking away when things don’t feel right.

Betsy Steckler

Betsy has one of those smiles that lights up a room. She was also the kind of leader who could stroll the hallways of the office, drumming up excitement instead of fear and intimidation. It’s a vibe.

While working at Microsoft Advertising, it was still clear to everyone in my orbit that I hadn’t quite cracked the code on my “WTF am I doing here?” issue. The very one I took into Felicia’s office years prior. I was super active in Microsoft’s United Way campaigns, I was doing informationals with other internal divisions known for their “do good” initiatives, and had taken on an Advisory role with an NGO in South Lake Union – the neighborhood where our office was located.

Betsy silently observed how I was spending my free time and had taken conversations with my direct manager {hey Sean Riley} to heart. Then one day she marched over to my desk and asked if I could join her in her office. Ummm. We all know how that feels. As I got settled she opened her desk drawer and pulled out a book. “Leaving Microsoft to Change the World”. No, I wasn’t being fired. But she was giving me permission to move on. Reminding me that everything I was. Everything I knew. And every skill I had. They all had a place in the world. And I could use them however I wanted to.

You might notice a theme here.
My Microsoft days were an interesting time for me. Not the first time in my life I had experienced dissonance, but definitely the first time as a full-blown adult, living 2,000 miles from my foundation.

For a long time, I told myself that there was something “wrong with me”.

I had a great job, managers, peers.
I was so privileged, yet so confused.
Why?

Twenty years later I can give you the cliff notes which boils down to mental health, unresolved trauma, and unhealthy expectations.
But that’s not the point.
Today. 

The point is this.
I was in highly a impressionable state.
And these women didn’t have to see me in the way that they did. They could have pressured me towards results, reiterated that employment was a choice, or ignored me altogether.

But they didn’t.

They took time. They looked me in the eye. They felt my struggle and they committed to helping me navigate that.

What a f’ing gift.

One that I get to unwrap every single day.
When I meet my mentees, build teams, and try to lead them as elegantly as Felicia and Betsy led me.

No matter where you’re at in your career, here’s some sage advice.
Commit to making an impression and commit to being impressionable.
You never know what you’ll leave behind.
Or take with you.